Thursday, August 8, 2024

Oh my God! One of my old personal letters rewritten by AI reads this -  

My Dearest,

This isn’t about unanswered calls; it’s about the warmth of concern that seems to be missing. After the flurry of messages, a simple text to inquire about my well-being would have been a balm - empathy, indeed. Should I cease to count on you? Perhaps someone so distant, with a personal life shrouded in secrecy from this so-called family, isn’t meant to be relied upon. Yes, someone who venerates a character that abandoned kin and comrades for personal “ambitions”—if only these ambitions served a greater good, uplifted lives, or brought joy to others beyond oneself.

And then there’s the enigma of your ever-changing social media persona—five different profile names on Instagram. What compels this chameleon act? Are you juggling multiple identities, struggling with your own Jekyll and Hyde? Have you forgotten the values we hold dear? For the first time, I find myself questioning the principles instilled in you.

What truly is open-mindedness? What is freedom if not tethered to the responsibility towards one’s kin? I believed freedom was synonymous with responsibility—not merely fiscal, but emotional and spiritual as well. Why should I labor now? You expect me to persevere for reasons unknown, yet you bristle at the notion of any expectations placed upon you. Are familial bonds and their accompanying duties not reciprocal?

You’ve made grand gestures—an expensive bag, money sent without strings attached—but is that the sum of your contributions? Once again, it’s not at all about the currency—it’s about the spirit. Your aversion to commitment perplexes me. Shouldn’t we be able to lean on you, to take for granted your presence? Have you ceased to take us for granted in return? What then remains of our bond?

I find myself adrift in confusion; I cannot depend on you, and you seem unwilling to claim us as your own. Our relationship has become a labyrinthine puzzle that I cannot solve. You wish for me to harbor no expectations—is this because you are reluctant to offer even a modicum of solace to your own mother? How remarkable.

 

 

Saturday, March 9, 2024

Post of 4th March rewritten by AI 😊

Oh Divine Architect,

In my humble mortality, I find myself bewildered by the rapid twists of fate you weave. The void left by loved ones taken too soon—mother, aunts, niece, grandmother—leaves me in solitude, grappling for understanding.

I concede to your omnipotent design, yet in my earthly confines, I question the fairness of these successive losses. Are these tribulations mere pebbles on my path, meant to fortify my spirit? Still, as a mere mortal, the weight of grief clouds my clarity.

I once basked in the nascent glow of contentment, only to have it eclipsed by fresh sorrow. Alone with my thoughts, I seek to fathom the tapestry of my existence.

I beseech you—must my journey be etched more with strife than with peace? How much resilience can one soul muster? Will I depart this life without ever knowing true contentment? Might there be a soul who will embrace me unconditionally—free from judgment and prescriptions for my being?

Amidst this tempest of life, I stand with arms outstretched, yearning for your grace. For I trust that in the grand expanse of time, your plans for me will unfurl in wondrous ways.

My deepest yearning is for my cherished son to flourish in joy and authenticity—to live unburdened by secrets or shame that could cast a shadow upon him or our kin.

I await another chapter where the dots connect in hindsight—a story yet to be told. It feels as though it’s time for me to bask in your benevolence and revel in the joy that’s surely on its way.

 Oh Divine Essence,

My soul dances in a symphony of thankfulness!

A cascade of gratitude flows from my heart, a tribute to the Cosmos and the ancestral guardians of our lineage, who bestow their blessings upon us in times of trial and tribulation.

As I whispered to my child under the veil of night, an epiphany dawned upon me: every action, every word, every trait we exhibit sends ripples through time, shaping the destiny of those who follow. The prayers and benedictions of his forebears, those venerable souls, are his guiding stars as he navigates the tempestuous seas of adversity—alone. This revelation has kindled a realization within me: it is now our sacred duty to embody our highest selves, to ensure that these blessings ripple onwards to future generations.

To be born into the Brahmin caste is to inherit a legacy—a legacy of eloquence, humility, and virtue. It is a path strewn with both duty and aspiration. To not merely present a facade to the world but to cultivate an inner sanctum that is a haven worth residing in. It is not about crafting an external life that society admires but fostering an inner life that, if laid bare for all to see, would leave us unburdened by shame. To live authentically, with only a handful of pages in our book of life that we wish to keep close, and the rest—an open tome, free for the world to read, without an ounce of regret.

For decades this understanding eluded me—a confession I bear with humility. Life’s true essence is not in the grandeur we display but in the purity of our internal realm.

Monday, March 4, 2024

Dear God!

While I understand that whatever you do is for a purpose, I, being a mortal I am, am not able to take so many issues changing direction in a short span of time! 

Earlier, took away Mom, aunts, niece, grandmom – Sis in distress, left me with no one to open up to, I, being a mortal I am, am not able to understand why you did this! 


While I accept that your everything happens at Your will, I, being a mortal I am, wanted to ask if it is really fair on you to make me go through these bereavements.

Things may appear to be very small, maybe it is time to test my strength, build resilience, et al, but I, being a mortal I am, am finding it difficult to process so many things!

Was happy that the way some things are shaping up and now you took away the feeling of contentment coming into my life, I, being a mortal I am, am struggling to find solace with no one to open up to and trying to comprehend what’s happening with life!

Just wanted to ask you - Is my life more for struggles than a sense of contentment, I, being a mortal I am, how much can I struggle? Is it that I will one day die with no sense of contentment? Will there be at least one person who will absolutely care for me without judging me, not trying to tell me how I should behave or how I should think?   

While I find it so difficult to process and accept the way things are currently, I, being a mortal I am, am waiting with open arms to receive your blessings in abundance, as I also know that whatever you do will be good or rather great in the end! 

All I wish is that my sonny boy should be absolutely happy, have a great life, be honest with integrity and genuineness as he is - If ever he has to look back, he should not have any page of life he needs to hide! Nothing in his life should put him or the family to shame!!!

A sense of DeJa’Vu – waiting to tell one more story of connecting the dots – I know it’s time for me to receive your blessings and happiness in abundance!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2022

To my sunny boy!

 

As my thoughts flow on your parting for your masters, just felt like penning my thoughts so that I will remain sane. Not sure whether I will give this to you or not. You know very well that I am not good at words and am sorry for being too ordinary.

 

Time just flies – my tiny little new-born who looked at me with annoyance, given a purpose to my life, taught me what possessiveness is, turned my life into a roller coaster for the last 22 years and is now all ready to go and conquer the world on his own. Frankly, I never wanted you to grow old, and am sure can never accept that you are an adult. In my eyes, you are and will be my little one with a twinkle in his eyes. Can never forget the day you were born, the tiny little one who was annoyed with me and annoyed me always. Life is never going to be the same without you nagging me always and vice-versa!

 

Letting you go without me for the first time - crying after sending you to your nani’s house without me and trying to get used to it slowly

 

I still remember the first day when we took you FKS, the shocked and confused toddler, oblivious to what’s happening around – running to find and hug me in Srinagar Colony. The innocent little one in Raju bhaiya’s van with a puzzled face, who we used to follow on bike whenever the paths crossed. The PTMs 😊 - from telling proudly that I don’t need to see teachers to going to school in tears to talk about you, me complaining to Shailaja aunty and Poornima aunty and them assuring me that everything will be alright.

 

Your first emceeing in the school – feeling so relieved that you will do fine in public space – to feeling proud of your college emceeing days 

 

Your high-school – I cherished each moment of it - the teenager who would be upset with me for no reason – the TV time / mobile time fights – all excited to take a few calls on the landline, especially girls 😊 will not name them though

 

The under-grad who doesn’t want me to know anything he does – from mobile calls to pictures to events – you trying to hide from me and me trying to safeguard till you grow up.. Wasn’t it crazy 😉

 

From Gitam to Cornell, you know it has been a great leap - don’t forget, this is just the beginning. Take each day as it comes and work hard at reaching the highest level. Aim to be the best in whatever you do.

 

Never forget your underlying value system,

 

Am not sure what all I am writing, as usual you will end up being annoyed if you see this, I guess 😉.

 

Wanted to tell you that both your dad and I are very proud of you – not because of Cornell, for the fact that you are turning out to be a fine human being.  Now that you are grown up and set to take charge of your life, wanted to tell you that you are one of the best human beings in the world!

 

Make sure you have more dreams than memories, more opportunities than chances, more hard work than luck and more friends than acquaintances! Let the creative side of you add more colour to your life 😉

 

You’ll have to make decisions that will have a bearing on where you will reach in your life and how you lead your life. Needless to say - the quality of what you choose is what you end up with – as you sow so shall you reap. Of course, we have your back and will always be there for you whenever you need us, even if you don’t need us 😊 😉.

 

As always, I long to spend time with you and still feel bad for not being able to give you enough time. I wish, we will be able to make up for this in the future. I know the chances are very bleak as you must give your best in whatever you do – tables turn, right!

 

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

House Warming ceremony 1

Did Ganesh puja (meedu kattadam) today for Gruhapravesam (House Warming) ceremony....


Muhurtam for House warming fixed for 5th December 11.



Again started the nervousness ... Need to manage many things ...We are left with two and half weeks ...

invitee list, printing of invitation cards, catering, return gifts ....


Baba !!! Please help us ...

Friday, June 25, 2010

Aditya Bhamidipati Upanayanam 3

Upanayanam ceremonies started on 30th May with distribution of ‘Vadaka noone’…..

Upanayanam is also called 'Vadugu / Odugu' and the boy is called 'Vatudu' till the ceremony is over...

Morning my aunt’s family came home. By afternoon, sisters-in-law along with their children started coming in. By evening, we had a full fledged gathering reflecting the true spirit of the ceremonies getting started ….

Mom, sisters-in-law, their children distributed 'Vadaka noone' - turmeric powder, kumkum, sunni pindi (green gram powder used for bath instead of soap), kunkudu kaayalu (arishtak – used to wash hair), oil, sweet and savoury - to all the residents in the apartments and all close relatives. They also invited everyone to attend the next evening’s aarti function…

We were a bit nervous also :-) as this is the first Upanayanam for the next gen in the family and had to handle all without anyone to guide into the details… No set benchmarks or standards to follow…

Just left the whole ceremony to Baba!!!